Two trips occurred last week -- to the dentist and the optometrist.  Those two halfdays put me behind again.  The Bucks County on Aging called Tuesday afternoon.  They're coming to assess the domestic situation on Wednesday morning.

I walked on Monday and Wednesday last week, and I walked all the way to work today.  It was a pleasant fall day with temperatures around 8º.  In State College and Wlikes-Barre, it'd be this cool in late September.

Meanwhile I took out the remaining three conditioners, belatedly and after the heat kicked on.  So far, only the windows in the livingroom are winterized. 

I decided not to go to Toastmasters on Thursday, but I expect to go to the Alzheimers support group this Thursday.  Friday, it happened again.  We went to PathMark.  I was finished when I found Mom's standing at the entrance with an empty cart.  I returned to PathMark on Saturday to buy two weeks' worth of groceries for everyone else.

Of course, this week marked Matthew Wayne Shepard' s ninth deathday.  Lucas, from Poland, wrote in the guestbook, so I took it upon myself to translate it, which I entered yesterday.  My entry occurred on Friday, the actual deathday, and the date of the launch of matthewshepard.com  , a place for teenagers and questioners of sexual orientation.

I finally decided not to be at the polls on election day.  i have only three and a half days left to take off, which normally happens in late December.

When I left this morning, the tunes from 1967 pushed me once again into thoughts of how how much I've lowered my standards.  After considerable verbal abuse and discouragement in school while living with my maternal grandparents, I must have thought too well of 1967.  In normal circumstances, the year had many problems -- especially in the social aspects of Hackettstown, which continued in Mountaintop.

Later, I saw it again in 1976-7 with organic chemistry and even in math.  Instead of changing and hitting the goal, I gave it up.  The 1977-8 seemed great because of history, but it had its problems as well, albeit that much of what I had planned executed.

Then I gave it up again in 1981, when I peaked.  By 1982's end, my standards must have hit bottom.  THen I lowered my own livelihood as well as unemployed skills and goals.  My current employer seemed great in 1995, now my second best year of adulthood.  As my domestic situation seems to had towards a radical change, I should be so prepared.

These seminars run nearly an hour each, which cramps my time for work.  By now, the evaluation from home should be along.  I had to drive for the second time this week.  Yesterday I picked up gasoline on the way, and diapers and pads on the way back.  I don't think any of my situation is sinking in for good reason.  Apparently the past two weeks have worked well.

Last night I slept almost continuously for nine hours.  The night before, I was awake for two hours from 12:30 - 2:30 AM.  Then I saw Denver enter the World Series.

On the fortieth anniversary of my interest in astronomy, I am thinking much with envy about Adam N Morgan.  Of course, I have astrophysics on my mind as well.  Why can't I learn this stuff as well?

 

Sun 21 Oct  14:15

Adam Morgan appears on my astronomy site, and he has done just what I've loved to have done.  He knew in high school that he wanted to be an astronomer.  He went to Penn State (in which I discovered him in The Penn Stater), and now is a graduate student at Cambridge.  His career is breathtaking, and he must have known what he wanted to do long ago.  I have flashbacks of my interest in astronomy forty years ago.

 

It's been quite warm here in October.  Normally the leaves don't change into late of the month.  However, i actually had to delay taking down air conditioners because I needed cooling at night until last weekend.  Al Gore may be right about global warming.  Usually I have all the stormwindows down, instead of having windows open during the day.  We have three deciduous trees.  The two in the front change around Halloween.  The one in the back usually changes well into November.  Coniferous trees surround it, probably keeping in heat at night.

 

Mon 22 Oct 8:09

More and more I seem to ba taking over the care of my brother.  I got him up today, which caused me to drive.  I guess I'll get some more wine.  I still can't shake the sneezing cold.  I did finish the calendar for November.  I also finished the course that begins partnerships.  I now have the minimum of twentyfour credits for Block.

I realized the attraction to Block in the training -- the usual thoughts of making progress through learning.  I also think more about Adam Morgan, who lives in my dreams.  How did he do it?  What is the magic of astrophysics?  Why gamma ray bursts?  I am having more flashbacks from 1967.  Then there was the glimpse of glory in 1971.  Where did it all go?  Blast!

 

Tue 23 Oct  14:30

The process of the Head-Injury Program is beginning.Adult daycare doesn't seem to slove the problem.  Over the next few weeks, I am drifting toward living alone.

 

Sun 28 Oct  21:30

My sister and family visisted today to set my brother up for his ultimate destination.  I found out that my mother was not taking the pills out of the mug.  So, I have work this week.

Supposedly, my brother gets a new chair tomorrow.

 

I found the MIT course on black holes (thanks to Adam Morgan) had the actual lectures videotaped from 2002.  There doesn't seem to be much mathematics in this course, even though it's under astrophysics.

 

I called the family doctor's office to find the doctor for my brother.  Now, when can I schedule an appointment?

This morning we had a frost, which I scraped off the windshield.  I must pick up pills and diapers, and it's even hard getting up (due to extended daylight time).  When I arose, the old gibbous moon was shining its silver in the front yard.  It doesn't help I'm still stuck at 105 kg, even with as little as I eat.

About the MIT courseware, the same professor, Edmund Bertschinger, has some notes on cosmography from fall 1999, and it's modeled mathematically.  Ultimately the question remains on how to understand this stuff!

 

Tue 30 Oct  14:16 

This morning I had a flashback of the party in 1970.  I even recorded Len Woloson on my reel-to-reel recorder after jingling two empty Gibbons cans that Friday.  I think I'll get the yearbook out and look at the pictures tonight.

The second seminar of the course on black holes was quite long in 2003, although I'd still rather be there than at my brainless job.  I couldn't stay awake, so I stopped  it after fortyfive of seventyfive minutes.  The students ask questions, and the lecturer and grad student answer them.  There appears no math, despite the  astrophysics.  How does it fit into the scheme?  In addition to Cambridge students (where Adam Morgan is), the MIT professor mentioned the satellites, which today send the data on gammy ray bursts.  Swift and Chandra didn't really get busy until 2004.  Penn State had much information on the subject of gamma ray bursts and black holes in the Science Journal, along with Scientific American's late spring special issue.

 

Wed 31 Oct  Samhain  14:44

Our first Halloween on daylight time.  I was  thinking about this time in 1970.  Then I saw a pattern of self-doubt which pervades in two encounters at Block, not to mention the numerous times I endured teasing in the past.  As the "Selling Machine" brought out, the challenge lives in one's self image, but not externally.  It seems to lift the curtain on other projects in which I gave up, not to mention the brainless recruiters and interviewers who wore me down.  My thoughts of radio, as I listern to previous shows in the early 1980's, is that I felt forced into changing carts.  Being on the air  was not fun; it was drudgery!  Now I can do it again on the internet.