I had a revelation over the past day.  I brought the letters I sent from Camp Saint Andrew with me, along with the remains of an assignment pad from seventh grade. I realized as I was driving to work this morning that the amount of control I thought I had determined whether the situation was good or bad.  When I beleive I have no control, rather than learning control, I simply give up.  Examples of the latter are looking for work, toleratring bullies, and obeying authority.  Why is it that we must get old to become smart?

Last night I practiced German and Polish pronounciation.  I can control what I learn!  Why do I keep putting off, rather than following through?  Perhaps organic chemistry -- or even engineering physics -- proved the example of what happens when I don't execute throroughly.  However, when I used to study so throroughly in middle school, I was definitely in control.  Perhaps if I think of it in those terms, I can return to that ability.  Of course, ultrimately, it cries out for an autobiography!  If anything, it'll give me a model for a happier life. 

15:03

I produced my sweet revenge, served cold to the Verizon technician, who continued to ignore my voicemails.  I really had a difficult time executing a simply voicemail today.  I guess I cannot be so mean, and so cold!  I finally got thorugh for an appointment with the cardiologist.

The discs of Unforgettable continue to seep into my brain.  Somehow they combined with Camp Saint Andrew to a general philosopical revelation.  The next phase is expanding the comfort zone, so I have control of more!

 

Sun 12 Aug  21:26

It was thirty years ago I finished up with Hope Chest, unaware that it was the end of Hope Chest.  By the time we returned from vacation, it was truly over.  I was looking forward just top get away from Coal Street for a week.  We left on Sunday the Fourteenth for Atlantic City.  We stayed at the Princess Hotel for three nights.  Then we visited Bensalem for three days, going home on Saturday the Twentieth.  I don't remember who drove.

In present amd mundane terms, i began to get some chores done this weekend.  Eye Q arrived, and I can't get it on Vista!  I am tempted to send it back.

 

Tue 14 Aug  15:18

I cannot seem to update my edress with DIG because they have a silly requirement to sign in.  Verizon continues to block off my old links.  I also haven't resumed walking to work yet.

Note: I took a picture from the Hardy Detective Agency for Joe Hardy, only to find out today that the picture is of an actor.  Eric Johnson plays Flash Gordon on the SciFi Channel at 9 PM on Friday nights.

I've been taking the Eye Q exercises, along with Rosetta Stone, on the other computer.  If anything, I've learned this week that cassettes wear out just sitting around for three decades.  I've had four fall apart from 1974.  I've lost six National Lampoon Radio Hours, unless I can reassemble amd rerecord them.

 

Thu 16 Aug  15:05  My last full day in Atlantic City, 1977

I dreamed I was taking comprehensive examinations with Dr. Robert K. Murray, right before awaking at dawn.  Problems persisted in my following through the tests, similar to the this time in 1983.  Could the dream had been a metaphor of my lack of a doctorate in history?

I just finished James Dewey Watson's "DNA", written for the quinquanniversary of the discovery of the structure of deoxyribose nucleic acid.

Reality about Sister John Ann and further illusions I had in highschool appear in that book of genetics.  I suppose I had very different views of science.

One was deiication and pass on.  Earth-Space Science

One was ambivolence and difficulty.  Biology

One was dedication and difficulty.  Chemistry

One was apathy and pass on.  Physics

My survey of astrophysics continues to profound and confound me.  There must be a way to understand it!

  

 

My cacorrhaphiophobia has always kept me from taking risks.

 

On this day thirty years ago, I ended my last vacation as we left Bensalem to return to Coal Street.  Both Elvis and Groucho were dead, and so was Hope Chest.  Unfortunately I learned nothing from the experience, outside of a further desire to leave public housing and its pedocracry.

On this day twenty years ago, I was preparing to leave Bensalem for State College and campus recruiting, onlhy to find Reaganomics had laid a trap for me.  Once again, if I had to do it, I'd have done it the same.

This weekend I continued EYeQ and what little I can do at home.

 

Tue 21 Aug

I await Mom's visit to the dentist.  The music of the Who's "You Better You Bet" just threw me back into 1981.  My brother's chair didn't charge, and it's pouring, so we left him with the dog.  Therefore, the two events pulled off together what either of them would have done separately.

 

Tue 28 Aug

Last night I was virtually done with Block.  The menu would not come down for me to take any courses online.  Fortunately I don't have to decide yet.  I went for the Bankruptcy Act of 2005 and grabbed two credits within a halfhour.

 

Wed 29 Aug

In my latest effort to recapture my mental agility from the early '70's, I took a second-year version of the French book I had back then, "Le Français Courant".  I really must figure out how to get into that mental state!

It's now fortythree years since I went to my first wedding.  I should bring ourt the ring-bearing pillow tonight just to contemplate the day.  Ultimately I must take personal responsibility for what happens to me.

I finished the transcription of "Frnak Franklin" onto the internet.  Now I must tie up the plot, and I have four scenes to sketch.

The senior buyer dumped looking for receivings into my lap this afternoon.  I really should resume seeking another source of income.  It's bad enough I'm behind becasuse I took a day off, and I am working unpaid overtime to catch up, but I don't like more work dumped on me.  Am I in the Printing Department again?

 

Thu 30 Aug

Forthy ic woulde thatte hie ealneg æ thære stowe wæren.

Therefore I prefer that they always would be at that place.

As Labor Day approaches I try to set up the goals for the fall.  I usually wax nostalgically this time of the year about going back to school.  The morinigs lighten later, and the shift out of the summer is apparent.