Existentialism is a philosophy that existence precedes essence. We are just here; there is no reason. Our task in life is to find a purpose for being here.

C'est l'epsitle d'Anoine de Roquefort, qui décou-

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Approximately three weeks after the death and cremation of the master of existentialism, Jean-Paul Sartre, I encountered my first real experience of existential nausea. At the time I participated in the campus radio station, then WDFM (now WPSU), and on the morning of Friday, 9 May 1980, the station received an album of a group called "Flash in the Pan". I was the one who marked these albums as the property of the station, a task I fulfilled from February 1980-February 1982. One song from this album, called "Lights in the Night", sounded like the quintessence of existential nausea. I will repeat the lyrics here. Existential nausea means that one has realized that there is no purpose to life. It is a sickening feeling that existence is absurd.

I was really into skteching at the time, and that evening I sketched fruit on my bed. I hope to place them here. I felt so useless, and the recession didn't help my prospects of finding a job that summer.
Consequently, I spent that summer finishing my two bachelor degrees -- fortunately I was going to graduate school -- and patiently waiting for the sadness to pass. The bad treatment I received convinced me to vote against the administration, only to help indirectly put in an administration which would prove ruinous to me.

"Lights in the Night" Flash in the Pan (complete lyrics)

Sitting in the kitchen, coffee on the boil
Staring at the bacon, goodbye olive oil!
Thinking of the feeling, have another smoke
I've got money in my pocket, but I'm feeling broke.
Tried to read a paper, tried to read a book
Walking on a circle, hanging on a hook
Talking to the ceiling, feeling kind of ill
If the radio doesn't get me, the TV will!

Lights
Shining bright
What's it like
In the light?
Come down,
Lights in the night
Come down,
Lights in the night

Standing by the window, balance on the brink
Kiss another bottle, think another drink
Throw away the feeling, throw away the pill
If the bottle doesn't get me, the thinking will!

Lights
Shining bright
What's it like
In the light?
Come down,
Lights in the night
It's easy to believe
Lights in the night

Click here for the video

My sign, Cancer,the crab

Praesepe, the Beehive in the center of cancer

about 177 parsecs away

Here's a self portrait about the same time. The mirror has two faces!

What do I look like now? Wouldn't you like to know!

Unfortunately, I don't have the freckles, cleft and gelasins. Look below for another fantasy.

Yes, I drew all these sketches!